Still a five year old and very content.

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Posted by: amy, 0 comments

Sometimes I wonder how the short term and long term converge and morph and become the future, present, and past and leave me in a substantially subjective area known as now. Who am I? What do I want to become? There are so many pressing challenges that seek to overthrow the ambivalent stance in this time frame and so many more that slowly condense my world into a pool of dehydrated rose petals. Soft, bumpy, and vividly in memory of what could be but is not. Now, if only to introduce the water into this pool to give them life. Then though, the problem becomes not about what to put into the pool, but how much, and in what increments?

And so begins finals week, with a underlying current of confusion and a good level of stress. So much to do, so much that's undone, and so much will be done and completed tonight. Ray's not particularly helping the situation lately. It's all good.

So I've been trying to focus most of today with little progress done but a lot of mental work/time attributed to this worthwhile focus. Too many diversions are involved in the disconnection between what I'm doing and what I should be doing. At least last night I was able to catch up on the year round bible reading. Keep running into the "I don't have time today" situation and putting it off for a few days and then catching up. It's amazing how calming and focusing it is.

To explain the five year old statement in the title, I still have this feeling that I'm mentally far below my age deep down and don't understand reality well enough. There are these random states of excitement and shock that show discomposure and make me seem that I am not completely there. I love the idea of being ready for any news but I'm still extremely green to so much. The passion to learn and experience so that I am not so at odds with the world is my focus, but the stories of the CEO's/leaders with clear, concise focus are bringing out the jealousy.

Anyway back to the marketing plan. This semester has been fabulous and informational just extremely busy which is why I've not even posted since March. Apologies to all that stumble around here.


 
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